


i was made for loving you

by BeatrizCaelum



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Post-Season/Series 07, mentions of adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:03:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeatrizCaelum/pseuds/BeatrizCaelum
Summary: Keith talks about love with the two people he cares for the most.





	i was made for loving you

 

The light flickers once and vanishes so delicately that he wonders for a second if he had not always been in the dark.

“I thought I saw his eyes opening for a second,” comes a familiar voice. He does not find his own to answer it.

Keith’s breathing is a ghost with no one to haunt. It oscillates, yes, but his heart’s pulse is firm. A victory, at least. A single one. Victory is a word that tastes heavy on his tongue – although he has not spoken it aloud. He cannot remember exactly where his mouth is or how it feels to use it. Victory, victory. Keith feels that he has actually lost something; he feels that it does not matter that his heart is beating steady if it is a lonely melody. Loneliness. Hadn’t he moved on from it? Where is his team – his friends?

Where is Shiro?

Not being able to understand your own reality is a curious thing. Shapes, feelings, perception. Awake, asleep, in-between. Dead. They are all possibilities. They are all realities, somewhere, sometime. Keith contemplates them. He forgets whatever conclusion he might have gotten to. Time passes. He remembers. He contemplates them again: he surely exists. He is real. His feelings are real, and he loves deeply.

Something crawls on the back of his mind and his entire body aches, aches, aches.

“He’ll awake soon enough.”

He does, a few hours later.

“Mom?” Is the first thing he asks, because Krolia is the first thing he sees. For a second, he feels as if he is being born a second time and his Mom is everything. She is all warm hands on his face and indistinct phrases. He has to focus twice to understand what she is saying. It turns out to be something simple, yet incredibly complex. Miraculous, even.

“You’re okay, Keith.”

“I guess I am,” he whispers. The reality of the hospital room unfolds in front of him. He looks at Kolivan and shakes his head with a small smile of recognition. The gesture hurts and Keith winces. Kolivan sighs.

“Rest for now,” it is not an order, but it is slightly more incisive than a simple request.

Keith takes a deep breath and enjoys the sensation of rubbing his hands together for a second; they are cold and pale. He stretches his arms and feels the body snapping at the right places. His throat feels like the very desert where he grew up. As if she can read his mind, Krolia passes a cup of water to him. He accepts it gladly.

“Are you warm enough?”

“I’m fine,” his voice manages not to crack, barely. “How long have I been….?” Asleep does not seem the right word, so he trails off.

“Almost a day.”

He shudders. So much could have happened. “Is everyone okay?”

“They’re okay. Safe.” Krolia promises.

 He pushes a bit from the bed, daring his body to get up. “I want to see the others.”

“The others,” she echoes. “Shiro?”

“Well, yes,” Keith exhales, caught by surprise, “him, too.” Krolia keeps looking at him – a stare that is both kind and compelling. “Okay. Shiro first.”

“He came in here,” she takes his hand. Keith always feels somewhat like a child when she does that, so much smaller than her. He used not to like feeling small, but it is different with her, now, after the two years they spent with each other. “When you were asleep. He seemed sad for not being able to speak to you.”

 “He made quite the speech earlier. “ Kolivan adds, and Keith is suddenly curious. “The man surely is good with his words.”

“And his actions,” Krolia smiles. Then, the smile wavers, as if Shiro reminds him of something or someone, and she shares a quick look with Kolivan. He nods.

"I must go. There is a lot to do."  He shakes Keith's hand, more gentle than the usual. "My best wishes, soldier."

Then, he is alone with Krolia, and she slowly moves her hand away from Keith's, putting it on her lap. When she speaks, the way she looks at him is almost defiant, as if she is fighting with herself not to back down.

"When you're free to go, I want to do something."

"Dad," it feels good to catch her by surprise this time. "You want to see Dad."

"His resting place, yes," she sighs. "I want... to say a few things to him." _To the man I love_ goes unsaid, and Keith feels an odd sort of sadness by being reminded that his parents cared for each other so much; that he was born from love in its purest form, not loneliness or fear or regret, but that love could not breathe anymore. Part of it had not died with his father, not exactly, but still was lost forever. In a different reality, they would have been a happy little family. "After all this time, there's still so much I want to say to your father."

"I can only imagine."

Krolia locks her eyes on his again. "Son."

"Mom." He answers immediately. "What's on your mind?"

"I want to give you some advice. I know you just woke up, but, when I saw Shiro here earlier, I realized I should say it as soon as possible."

“What is it?”

“Don’t take the person you love the most for granted, Keith.”

“I don’t,” he says firmly. “I know I can lose him at any second. I _have_ lost him, more than once.” He thinks of the many times Shiro has been away from him, in danger, alone, hurt, yet a light that refused to go out. He thinks about how he could have saved Shiro, how he failed to protect him.

And the times he did succeed to bring Shiro back to him, it was as if they were not close enough to each other.

Krolia hums, a bit thoughtful. “What’s stopping you, kid?”

Keith’s breath gets caught on his throat. “What do you mean? Stopping me from what?”

She parts her lips slightly and a sigh comes out. Shaking her head, Krolia says instead, “You want to know how I knew I loved him?” When Keith nods silently, she goes on. “When I realized that every distance with him felt too far.”

“Every time you speak about Dad – the way your voice sounds, it’s too much. I keep thinking of what we could have had together, the three of us.”

Something inside him wants to add one more. _The four of us_ sounds just right.

Krolia takes his hand again. “I am sorry. I know that kind of wishful thinking very, very well. You must not get caught in it.”

“I know,” he whispers. “I’m also sorry.”

“What for?”

Keith forces down a sob, low and raw. “For not saving him when I had the chance.”

“ _Keith_ ,” his mother gasps, eyes wide.

“If I had done something, he still would be here. For me. For you. When you came back, you two could have…”

Krolia interrupts him, not unkindly, “We’ve talked about this before. You were a child.”  She runs her fingers though his hear. “There’s nothing you could have done. But there are things you can do now. To save the people you love. To be with them and never part ways again.”

“That… sounds nice.”

“You’re used to think that you don’t deserve nice things.” She sighs. “And I know deep down you already have figured out who you want to be with.”

A noise from outside makes them both jump slightly. The door opens to reveal a very hopeful-looking Takashi Shirogane. When he sees that Keith is awake, his mouth and eyes smile in harmony. Keith forgets how to breathe for a moment, taking in how the light shines on Shiro; with the silver hair, he is almost angelical.  

“Hello, Captain.”

“Ma’am.” He says, polite as ever, but his eyes are not on Krolia. “Keith, is so good to see you.”

“I’ll let you two catch up.”  She pats Keith on the head and leaves, a peaceful smile gracing her features.

“Captain,” Keith repeats. “I like the sound of that.”

“It was kind of a sudden thing,” Shiro says a little bashfully. But there is pride shining on his eyes. He makes his ways to a chair near Keith’s bed, perhaps a little too slowly, and Keith takes the hint.

“Come here,” he pats the mattress and Shiro sits down. Now that he is not smiling anymore, Keith can see the lines of exhaustion on his features, how _old_ he seems.

“Is… everything okay?”

Shiro chuckles. “Nothing gets past you.”

“Not from you,” Keith says and admires the way Shiro’s cheek tint with a lovely shade of pink.

“You’re becoming more and more observant.”

“Again, it’s easy when it’s you.” Keith smiles. “You make everything easier.”

The nice moment fades away quickly, though, and soon enough Shiro seems to be holding himself together just barely. His back is somewhat curved, there are bags under his eyes and his breath is uneven.

“Tell me what’s bothering you, please.”

“I don’t want to drop anything on your shoulders with now. You just woke up.”

“I know,” Keith says, “I just woke up and every second that goes by I can only think that you guys could have needed me when I was out.”

“Keith,” he chides gently.

“So, please, trust me. Need me. You can need me, Shiro, and I’ll be here whenever you do.”

Keith feels more than he sees the way Shiro looks at the scar on his cheek.

“I can only hope to be here for you just as much,” he sighs. Then, adds, almost inaudible: “It’s Adam.”

Keith’s stomach drops. “Oh. So you guys talked?”

Shiro shakes his head. “No, we didn’t. He… He didn’t make it through Sendak’s invasion. There was a battle before we got here and…” He trembles. “He was already gone when we arrived, Keith. I couldn’t to a single thing.”

He whispers Shiro’s name, once, twice, not knowing what to say other than that. Shiro is right there, at his side, and he cannot just watch him fall apart. He finally takes Shiro’s hand – the one just like his own, flesh and blood – and gives it a firm squeeze. The words _I am sorry_ hang from his lips, almost falling. They don’t. Keith thinks they seem insufficient, hollow. Instead, he says a truth he knows too well,

“Losing people we love is never easy.”

The word _love_ seems to catch Shiro’s attention.

“I…” He gulps. “I did love him. I guess a part of me always will.”

Keith’s heart aches more than the rest of his body now.

“We were going to get _married,”_ at the last word _,_ something that is not quite yet a sob escapes from Shiro’s mouth. He takes a deep breath. “But that’s a future that will never happen. I want to talk about the futures that still have a chance. The futures _I want_ to live.”

“There are so many,” Keith wants to reassure him, despite himself. “Here on Earth and maybe even out there.”

“Space,” Shiro smiles somewhat sadly.

“Your heart belongs in the stars.”

Shiro squeezes his hand. “And maybe somewhere else too.”

“Somewhere else?”

“Keith,” he begins, and Keith sees a new kind of fear in his eyes. “I did love Adam. But that love is a love from somewhere long gone. And I am okay with it being just the past. When he died, I already didn’t have feelings for him anymore. I don’t.”  He coughs. “Romantic feelings, I mean. I will always treasure what we had together, but it has been a while that I don’t want anything with him.”

“How long?”

“Since I met you again.”  The pink tints Shiro’s cheeks one more time. It is barely noticeable, but Keith’s heart feels like combusting. “I want us to explore space together. Come with me, Keith. Then we can settle in a nice place here on Earth for a while, when this mess is over, and just be happy.”

Keith gives a shaky laugh, “You have no idea how afraid I am that I am reading things wrong.”

“Let me explain, then.”

Shiro’s lips are heaven on his, warm and soft. Keith yanks him even closer by his shirt, tasting everything Shiro has to offer, starting slowly; then, he loses whatever self-control that remained, almost too eager, almost too hungry. Shiro tries to slow him down for a moment, but gives up and lets himself be carried away, his tongue exploring Keith’s parted lips first, then his neck. Shiro’s breathless laugh on his skin is the best sound he has heard in years.

“Are we clear, cadet?”

Keith grins and does a tiny salute. “Cristal clear, sir.”

“You won’t be a cadet for long, though.” Shiro backs away slightly to look at him, in awe. “You have grown up so much. And I don’t say this as happy as I do only because I’m proud. I very much like what I see.”

This time, Keith is the one that goes pink. “Shut up.”

Shiro kisses him again. “Gladly.”

**Author's Note:**

> As often, I feel this is not my best work, but it is what I have to offer <3  
> A reminder: English is not my first language, so please feel free to point out any mistakes!  
> I'm a wreck after season 07. I loved it, but I do think Adam's death was handled poorly and Shiro and he deserved a talk at least. Some closure. Oh, well fkdmfkdfdmk  
> Please, tell me what you think!!  
> I'm palallura or holyhikari on tumblr if anyone wants to scream about sheith with me!


End file.
